Posted on: May 10, 2011

I don’t know what I expect from people.  I know what I want.  I want someone to listen and just that.  I don’t need a reply,  I need to know they’re listening but they don’t need to analyze me and tell me what they think about my situation.  They just need to listen.  It seems the more I try to talk to people the more they end up venting and telling me what they think.  I feel selfish when I want a turn to talk because I typically don’t get one.  I don’t expect most people to listen, but there are a few who I do expect it from.  I want my family to listen and I want my close friends too.

Everytime I try to talk to this one family member they don’t listen.  They get frustrated cause they think I’m not listening to them and I get upset because I thought that we were talking so I could tell them how I feel.   I expect my friends too.  I have a really close friend and he listens to everything and he’s the only person who makes me feel better.  I have boyfriend who loves to talk and I have to problem listening to him, but I would appreciate a chance to say how I feel every now and then.  He needs to talk just as much as I do.  He always used to ask how I feel and what I was thinking, but now he doesn’t at all.  This seems to be a trend.  Everyone leans on me but never allows me to lean back.

Everyone expects me to smile and expects me to be happy.  I expect for them to care and listen especially when I care about them and listen to them.  I’m so overwhelmed.  Everyone is telling me everything and I’m absorbing.  It’s bringing me down and making me sad.  They keep dumping problems on me but never offer to help.  I feel like I’m being used.  Maybe I’m just being sensitive….

Recently my mom got upset.  She thinks I’ve changed.  She wanted me to talk to her and her way of telling me was saying ‘we’re supposed to be talking’  I didn’t really see that as ‘tell me how things are going’ or ‘how do you feel’  I said that to her and she got very upset.  I’m confused.  I’m having a hard time determining what is my opinion and what is someone elses and everyone telling me their problems and thoughts isn’t helping me.  I wouldn’t mind at all if there were people who could be there for me too.  My best friend is great but everyone else is kind of disapointing.  I just want more people to listen…


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