thingsneedtobesaid

Hello, I’m adopted

Posted on: June 27, 2011

How important is it? When is it the proper time to tell someone you’re adopted.  I’ve always been upfront about it, but some people and families choose not to talk about it.  What is the right time to let people know.  I get that it’s a personal choice but I don’t know.  I just want to know what other people think.  I don’t want my family to feel bad either.  I don’t want them to think that me telling people right away is a way of me separating myself from them because that is the last thing that I want to do.  Friends all find out eventually when they come over and see my family.  Is there like a suggested time of telling people.  It’s a part of me.  I don’t want to hide it but I don’t want to tattoo it on my forehead either and the in between is such a broad area.

I started thinking about it because I recently started writing to a pen pal.  She is around my age and lives in Germany.  We were talking about our families and I was pondering if this was something to share with her or not.  It’s not like I want to hide it from her I just didn’t know if I should share it.  I will probably never meet her but she is someone to talk to and I feel like this is a big part of who I am.  A lot of my views on the world and different daily things are effected by my adoption.  I wish I knew more people who were adopted who could act as a mentor to me.  I have a lot of questions like this but I don’t want to ask my family because they wouldn’t know, and my brother doesn’t really address his adoption so he wouldn’t be worrying about telling people.

If anyone is reading this and wants to help me out here.  That’d be great! I know that this is going to come up again.   I never really thought about it like this because before everyone just kind of found out.  My newer friends I’ve told just because it came up somehow, but if it doesn’t come up should I bring it up?  It is a big part of me and I think I want people to know I just don’t know how to or when to tell them.  Also who is ok to tell? Do I have to be at a certain level of closeness with someone?

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1 Response to "Hello, I’m adopted"

Hello, I stumbled on your blog tonight. Keep writing, it will help.
As a ‘new’ birthmom, I placed my son 16 weeks ago tomorrow. Your birthmom wanted you to have what she felt she couldn’t provide for you. Know that this sacrifice was so difficult and painful for her, and no matter what, the pain that she felt in her heart then, she still feels today. She has never forgotten you, it’s not possible.

Feel what you feel, think what you think, and be ‘you’. You can email me anytime, I’ll be an ear if you need one.

((((HUG))))

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  • vampporcupine: Ahhh...you are so CUTE! I don't know why you look at yourself the way that you do. It may be adoption related or might not. You are adorable :). Remeb
  • Susie: I understand where your feelings are coming from ~ and I know it is so hard to overcome the "not good enough" image you have of yourself. I want to t
  • Susie: The unknown and wondering in adoption is enough to drive you crazy. Not that this probably helps at all, but I was always thinking of my son not only

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